Stripper Asshole 1

Navigating the world of dating is treacherous.  One has to look out for people and try to decipher what one wants and what one is looking for and to be sure that he or she is honest with himself/herself.  There should not be a laundry list of things that are required from a partner or a lover.  In fact, it is always important to remember that society's ideal of perfection doesn't actually exist, one should not let society tell you how your lover and or partner should look or act (within reason... no one should date satan- that is just not the look).

An example of a laundry list that I find to be quite extensive is one that I was made privy to at the bar one night.  A young veteran from Iraq after having returned from the war, and after having been in the service after the repeal of DADT, was exploring and looking into the new gay life in a different life, and though hooking up and tasting the colors of the rainbow are very much a part of that new freedom,  he essentially wants someone to share his life with, or so he believes.  However, the following things are required , of his partner.

Masculine (this is a whole other issue, we are faggots, right, why do we have to be masculine all the time?)
Loves to hunt and fish (we live in Texas, even the homos have guns)
in shape and proportionate (this is not a crazy requirement)
mid-twenties in age
financially successful and secure (ummm....)
bottom (100%)
around his same height ( 5'8'' or so)
former military preferred
smooth
big dick (which totally makes little sense as one can see from the next list item)
bottom

In my mind this is too much.  I could be wrong, but when I am looking for a mate I am looking for a few things only: a connection, physical attraction, responsible, kind, openminded, adventurous, happy and secure in oneself, and into me.  What else could you really need.

As a rule, I am not really concerned with what other people think of my partner.  In fact, each relationship is negotiated by the two people who are involved in it. When one starts listening to those outside of the relationship, the whole dynamic can change.  Having said this though, it is important to remember that sometimes we get 'love drunk' and perhaps our decisions are not well thought out.  However, on the superficial things- looks, personality, weight, etc.

Months ago I found myself at Tony's Corner Pocket and there was a very cute very sexy dancer there who I was very attracted to.  He was latin, had beautiful feet, and was simply sexy.  However, he was a dancer.  I don't mess with dancers, because honestly they are working.  I know they are working, so when they call me daddy and are nice to me, it is mostly just to be sure that their underwear keep getting fed.  However, this dancer was not the most confident of dancers.  As he would walk around the club, he was obviously uncomfortable, and his arms were always crossed, and it didn't seem to me that he made much money.  After I tipped him once, he came up and spoke to me and told me I was sexy and I tipped him a couple of more dollars, after all he was working.

I didn't pay much attention to exchange.  However, over the months, we kept running into each other, and he would say hello and I would too, which was kind of odd.  Usually, when I run into a stripper outside of the establishment where they strip, it has always seemed to be inappropriate to talk to them.  They are not at work and usually they don't have anytime for you, or they believe you are so enamored by them that you might nut in their face right there, wherever you may be at that moment.  

How could I think any different?  He was a stripper, which is on the spectrum of 'whore.'  There is absolutely no read in that statement. Whores, escorts, sex workers, strippers, etc.  are all needed in life. Also, if you have something that someone finds sexy or that a lot of people find sexy, why not use it to your advantage and get paid.  Most of us have a car note and rent to pay.

The interactions were first just waves, stolen glances, and smiles.  My mind was telling me not to get involved in it.  However, as I talked to my buddies, primarily, the Big Bitch, and Geranimo Horsestealer they told me to have an open mind and to see where it lead.  Fine.  This was a healthy risk, a challenge to myself, to open my heart just a little and see where it lead.  He had the minimal basics, I was attracted to him, he had a job, and he was into me. Why not give it a chance?

Toward the end of summer, I found that this stripper was a new member at my gym.  I never said hello and I didn't pursue him, really.  Not knowing how to handle the situation I just kind of ignored it.  I would notice how in the locker room the stripper sometimes looked as though he was coming to say hello to me, but then would talk himself out of it at the last minute. He really was interested- wow.  But, my insecure ass didn't know what to do.  Just letting things lie in the dating world is something I am really good at.  I don't know why I don't pursue things more than I do.  Sex and hooking up are something I don't have a problem doing, I understand how that works, I understand what it is all about. When bearing my heart and letting my feelings get involved, I don't know how to handle it, and thought I may be a tough queen, there is a lot of heart under it all.  Like a pomegranate I have textured and bitter outside but sweet seeds on the inside that will leave a stain.

On labor day I saw this guy out and he came and talked to me outside of the Montrose Mining Company, another queer bar in the Southwestern City.  He talked to me about the gym, asked about my workout routine, and told me I was sexy.  Flattery is nice, and being told that you are attractive is wonderful.  He told me to say 'hi' the next time we saw each other at the gym.

One night I dropped by Tony's Corner Pocket to meet a couple of people and it was just a chill day.  That is all that I needed was to have a chill and calm day.  The stripper was there.  With excitement in my body we went and talked a little.  He was with his friends so it was a little awkward, but I was going to take the risk and talk to him.  After the short chat, I went to meet friends at another bar, JRs, and watch the karaoke.  The night was good and I went to take a bathroom break and the stripper was sitting at the bar with my regular bartender.  I took care of business and sat next to him and ordered my drink.

"Hey " I said, trying to be cool.
"Hey, how are you doing?"  He replied.  "It's so great to see you again."
"You, too." I replied, wondering what I was going to say next.
"I love that you wear sandals all the time.  Every time I see you at Tony's, I am so happy to see you in sandals because your feet are so beautiful,"  the stripper began. "I just love your feet."
"I love your feet, too,"  I replied. "I really love feet when they are taken care of."

We then sat there at the bar and played footsie.  His feet were on mine and mine on his,  they were so soft and he would grip my toes with his.  It was such an intimate moment- exciting.  His friends then decided to leave and he stood up and kissed me and groped me (i could have done without the groping, but the kissing was nice, his touch was nice).

The night went on and I drove a couple of my drunk friend to their place as they would have caught a case for sure had they had tried to drive their vehicles home. After dropping them off, I started to get texts from the stripper.  He went on to tell me how he wanted to see everything, how he wanted to touch me.  I invited him over.  This would have been a bad idea, but I did it anyway.  But, the stripper let me know that he was fucked up and it wouldn't be able to happen.  The next day however, he let me know, was something that he would be able to do- we would be able to get together before he went to the gym.

The next day I was looking forward to it, to seeing him and to having some fun, and being with him and maybe experiencing something more than sex, I was going to have a little bit of intimacy.  We sent a few text messages, that morning, and then he confessed:

"Sorry about last night, I have a boyfriend."

"okay, I'll leave you alone."

"No, that is okay, we can still be friends.  I'm going to the gym today at 5pm."

Needless to say, he didn't show up.  And, needless to say, my heart was hurting.  I took a risk and it bit me in the butt.  This is par for the course. But, the story doesn't end there.

People... People Who Need.... PEEEEPOOOOLLLLE....

It is the dear and most loved by fags, Barbara Streisand, that sang the song of this title, and I must say that she did have it right.  Most of us in the world do need people.  The trick though, is to find those people that are good for us and provide us with the positivity that we need to make it in the world.

I am certainly one of those people, and since my relocation to the great southwestern city, I have been meeting people and making connections.  As with everything in life, sometimes the connections aren't as good as they should be.  If you have every gotten internet installed in your place and had it craps out on you, you will understand.  Sometimes, it is fixable and sometimes you just need to get another provider.

One of the greatest connections of this new life has been with a super tall guy that I loving refer to as  'the big bitch'  because is is 6'6'' and has a cock the size of an elephant trunk.  It was around January when we met. This was a long-ass grindr conversation that eventually led to meeting.  At such meeting, the Big Bitch and I became instant girlfriends.

The Big Bitch is a nurse and of mixed ethnic heritage- a little brown and a little white, which makes a pretty sweet little macchiato. Being about the same age as I am, it is funny and kind of sexy that he is starting to develop the hotness of middle aged latin men with smattering of salt in his otherwise completely pepper hair.  He is a professional healthcare provider and is pretty kick-ass at his job, which just can't seem to quit giving him raises and promoting him.

On out first meeting we sat and bitched about guys.  He and I were going along the same route,  he was using grindr and manhunt, while I was using grindr and a4a.  Of course, these sights are pretty good for hooking up and not much else.  We were learning this at the time.  It is also important to notice and realize that such hookup sights are often for entertainment purposes.  And, on our Thursday night bar meetup, we talked about the great ways in which we were entertained that week.

Making a connection with someone on such a level is great.  Even if it is not a romantic connection, it is good.  Romance can sometimes complicate things in any event. Romance when give away creates some kind of entitlement often times.  When the connection is that of a deep friend level, it s a wonderful gift.  There are no expectations and you don't have to worry about sexual performance. Romance is not a bad thing- having a romantic connection has its place and is needed to have a great and full life.  However, the support from a friend is something that we all need.

Through the months there were lots of fun times.  The Big Bitch introduce me to a group of Galloping Lezzies and to a whole new side of life and of the great Southwestern City.  He is an awesome guy.